I Am Not My Own

“I am not my own…”

Those of you steeped in Reformed tradition recognize those five words, and you have already begun reciting the rest of the words in the answer to the first question in the Heidelberg Catechism.

If you aren’t familiar with those words, or the Heidelberg Catechism, here’s the short version:

H.C. Q&A #1:
Q: What is your only comfort in life and in death?
A: That I am not my own, but belong – body and soul, in life and in death – to my faithful Savior Jesus Christ. … Because I belong to him, Christ, by his Holy Spirit, assures me of eternal life and makes me wholeheartedly willing and ready from now on to live for him.
(You can access the full version HERE.)

As important as those first five words are to my theological understanding of my faith, the next two words may be even more important. Particularly the seventh word: BELONG

I’ve been thinking and praying quite a bit lately about this word.

Here’s how Merriam Webster defines the word:
2a : to be the property of a person or thing —used with to <the book belongs to me>
b : to be attached or bound by birth, allegiance, or dependency —usually used with to <they belong to their homeland>
c : to be a member of a club, organization, or set —usually used with to <she belongs to a country club>

Definition 2b is what draws my attention. To be attached or bound by birth, allegiance or dependency.

While I am certainly attached to my Lord and Savior these ways, I’d like to add one more.

Death.

I’m attached or bound to my faithful Savior, Jesus Christ, by death. His death.

Jesus Christ’s death on the cross bound me to him. He chose me. He died for me. I’m attached to him and his sacrifice.

In last week’s post I talked about where my allegiance lies. Do I rely on my bank account or on God?

Continuing with that theme, I want to emphasize where I truly belong. I belong to Jesus. To God.

As I continue on this adventure of self-employment I need to keep those words at the forefront of everything I do daily.

I belong to Jesus.

Add the five words from the beginning to these four words.

I am not my own. I belong to Jesus.

Everything I do must be filtered through these nine words.

Are you living out these words? Do you struggle each day like I do?

It isn’t easy, and we are never told it will be, but I’m going to keep trying. Every. Single Day.

Are You Relying On Your Bank Account Or God?

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I pose this question to you because I need to pose it to myself. “Am I relying on my bank account, or am I relying on God?” Three months into this new adventure of working for myself, from home, I need to ask myself this hard question.

The balance in the bank account can be terrifying and it can be comforting. Sometimes it can be both at the exact same time with the exact same balance. While my wife and I have set aside the funds needed to journey on this adventure, I believe the comfort of knowing the money is available might possibly be hindering my performance.

Some of you will say, “Take it easy on yourself. It’s only been three months. You’re still adjusting.” Others, I’m sure, will say, “I knew it. He isn’t going to make it. He’ll have to find a real job.”

What I’m saying is “Where am I placing my confidence? Where am I placing my self-worth and my comfort?” I think lately it has been in the bank account. And that is the wrong place to be.

God wants me to place my confidence, my self-worth, and my comfort in him. As the weeks have gone by, the bank account balance has gone down. Nothing unexpected. But this last week it hit a dollar amount I’m not comfortable with on April 1st.

While reading Alli Worthington’s new book “Breaking Busy”, I wrote down these words:

“I’m relying more on the comfort of my bank account than on God.”

Dang it. I wanted to swear at Alli, and maybe at God.

God used Alli to open my eyes. To see what I had been missing for weeks. I was placing my comfort in the wrong place.

In the book, Alli was talking about building a business and all the stress, anxiety, uncertainty and bumps that come with it.

These lines from page 67 hit home for me.

“The journey was bumpy, sometimes easy, sometimes scary, but always a predestined trip.”

“The very God who spoke the world into motion, created you for a purpose.”

I had forgotten. I had misplaced my trust.

While I have been working all these weeks, I may not have been working “correctly” for lack of a better word. And while bumps and uncertainty are surely expected, I need to focus my efforts on obeying Him. He created me for a purpose. He told me to take this step. I forgot to place my trust in Him.

Isn’t this how life goes?

We work and work and work toward a goal, and when we arrive at the goal we forget what put the wheels in motion.

For me, God put the wheels in motion for this adventure. He promised me He would take care of me and my family, no matter what.

No. Matter. What.

I know some of you reading this have experienced the ups and downs of your own adventures. I’d like to leave you with this last thought from Alli, and I’ll apply it to my adventure too:

“If you stay focused on God, you will not miss your destiny.”

I Cried on Easter

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“Death is swallowed up in victory.
O death, where is your victory? O death, where is your sting?”
– 1 Corinthians 15:54b-55

I cried on Easter Sunday. More than once.

There is no doubt Resurrection Day is a powerful day. The most important day. And it being that day probably pushed my emotions to the top. This can be expected.

The morning service prepared me for what came next. It prepared me to cry.

Hard tears.

Heavy tears.

Tears of sadness.

Tears of pure joy.

My friend’s daughter was called to Jesus Sunday morning.

While I was in church singing of the power of the cross, of the amazing resurrection, sweet and beautiful Tori was dancing with Jesus.

My own faith has been challenged and strengthened by the faith shown by Lesa and Brennan Brackbill.

Lesa and Brennan knew their beautiful Tori would someday die. They also knew that someday she would be healed.

Many people prayed for Tori. Thousands and thousands of prayers.

Prayers for peace. Prayers for good days. Prayers for miraculous healing.

Healing was guaranteed. God would heal sweet Tori. Here on earth, or in heaven.

It was a guarantee.

It is now a fact.

Sunday morning at 9:05 A.M. Eastern time, Tori met Jesus.

I could go on and on about the journey traveled by Tori and her family, but I’ll send you to her page instead. Lesa and Brennan have written so beautifully. Their words have strengthened my faith. My faith is stronger because of their example. Take the time to read and learn about Tori. Learn how she impacts thousands of people even today.

Here’s a link to the their page: The Brackbills

Pick a post. Any one. You’ll quickly understand.