Category Archives: Inspiration

A Prayer

6 Replies

Father in Heaven,

I am so over it.

I’m done.

Finished.

I don’t think I can do it anymore.

What is happening?

Why is this happening?

I’m not blaming you.

I’m lost. Searching. Trying to find my way. Trying to find your way for me.

I haven’t asked you about it though.

I’ve been sinking and searching.

I’ve been floating along without a direction.

I’m at the mercy of the wind. No rudder. No sail. No compass.

I know you are my compass. Why haven’t I been using it?

What the heck is my problem?

At one moment I desperately want to know where to go, and at another I could care less.

Where?

Why?

Confusion.

Depression.

Apathy.

Help me Lord. Help me out of this funk.

Bring me back to you.

I want to desire you.

I want to grow our relationship.

Help me Lord. Please.

Crack open my heart.

Flow into me and fill me up.

Amen

What I learned from NOT writing my first book. Yet.

13 Replies

During the summer of 2014 I was convinced I was going to write a book. My first book. I had a topic, and I had ideas pouring out of my head. The passion to write a book was oozing out of me. I even made an announcement right here on my blog. “I’m Writing A Book” July 2014

I was gung-ho. I was all in. The ideas pouring out of my head were pure gold!

And then a few weeks passed. And a few more. And a few more.

I was still committed to writing the book. I even made it my “Push Goal” in January when I went through a program to help me determine and define my goals for 2015.

I took my notes from the previous six months and created an outline for the book. I divided the notes into the appropriate sections.

My trusty journal was with me every day so I could capture ideas and thoughts and quotes for the book.

But there was one problem.

The passion was gone.

Did I still want to write the book? You bet! This is something I’ve dreamed of for a couple of years. “I’m going to write a book!”

I tried. I really did. I sat down with my notes and laptop a few times. But I couldn’t move forward.

Without the passion for the topic, I was paralyzed. I couldn’t move forward. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t continue.

So a few weeks ago I decided to stop. I told some friends. I told my wife. I told 2,200 friends in a closed Facebook group who I’ve been interacting with for almost two years.

Do you know what happened? Everyone who commented, and everyone I spoke with, including my wife, congratulated me for being able to set it aside. They know how badly I want to write. They know writing and speaking is what I’m supposed to be doing. They also knew something I didn’t. They knew setting aside the book would help me write more. They knew setting aside the book would help me feel free to be the person I need to be.

You see, the book I’m NOT writing is about encouragement. I’m passionate about pouring into others. The pressure I put on myself to write the book stopped me from being the encourager I want to be.

I was trying to write a book about encouragement, but I wasn’t encouraging anyone. Including myself.

Since setting the book aside I’ve been able to return to the activities that originally spurred the idea of writing the book.

I’ve talked to more people on the phone. I’ve talked to more people face-to-face. I’ve been intentional about touching base with people in real life and online.

I’m happier. I’m not stressed every time I do something on my day off not related to writing the book.

And one other thing has happened. I’ve written notes for the book in my journal almost every day.

So while I’m no longer writing the book, I’m making progress on writing the book. I can’t wait for you to read it. Eventually.

Have you ever set aside a project and reaped incredible rewards? Did you eventually go back and complete the project?

A Holy Experience

15 Replies

Something happened to me on Monday. It’s hard to describe. I think the best way to explain it would be to say the Holy Spirit moved in me.

During Lent this year, I’ve been working through a 40 day prayer challenge. Using Mark Batterson‘s book, Draw the Circle – The 40 Day Prayer Challenge, I have daily spent time reading a devotional and learning how to pray with intent.

Monday was day 35. At some point early Monday afternoon, I began to feel a strong urge to go pray. I’m not talking about finding a quiet place at work to pray for a few minutes. This was a full-on urge or push or whatever you want to call it, to leave work and spend significant time in prayer.

I didn’t know what to do.

How could I simply leave work? What would I say to my boss? What about my customers who were expecting to see me when they arrived later? And it wasn’t like I could simply hold out until 5pm. This “feeling” began early in the afternoon. Maybe around 1pm. On Mondays I work until 8pm.

I decided I’d at least begin with leaving for lunch. Usually I eat at my desk, but I knew this needed to be different. My intent was to grab some lunch and go sit in my truck somewhere and pray.

As I walked to my truck I realized I needed to ignore my hunger. It could wait. This needed to be a time focused on prayer.

I drove to a nearby parking lot where I wouldn’t be bothered. And I prayed. I prayed for over an hour. I prayed for the four items I’ve been circling in prayer during the 40 day challenge. I closed my eyes, opened my hands, and prayed.

I prayed for God to calm my mind.

I prayed for God to open my ears.

I prayed for God to open my heart.

I prayed for God to speak to me, and to pour His love and power into my heart so I could be more obedient to His calling in my life.

The call to pray was crystal clear. I answered the call the best I could at the time. I had to return to work. There were people relying on me.

The time I spent praying was wonderful. The experience was what I had been searching for, and at least partly the intent behind participating in the 40 Day Prayer Challenge.

There is certainly a rebirth occurring in my prayer life. I’ve learned how important it is to be intentional, committed and consistent with prayer.

Prayer can begin a rebirth in your life. It has in mine.

Through these last weeks I have grown exponentially in some areas of my prayer life, and not at all in other areas. It is a learning experience. It is a growth experience.

I’m growing closer to God. I’m learning how to listen for the still small voice of the Holy Spirit.

I’ve been planning all along to write about the experience of the 40 Day Prayer Challenge. I hadn’t been planning to do it this soon. But this was necessary. Very necessary.

In the weeks after Easter I will share more about what I learned during the 40 days. I hope you’ll come back to read more.

Have you ever felt you should drop everything and go pray? I’d love to have you share your story in the comments!