Love, Sex, Dating

How’s that for an attention getter!?


Yes, you guessed it. The topic of this post will be awkward. But you know, sometimes awkward is the only way to handle something, and usually it turns out to be the best way.

The attention grabbing title comes from the book “The New Rules For Love, Sex, & Dating” by Andy Stanley. Andy is the lead pastor and founder of Atlanta-based North Point Ministries. Andy is an outstanding writer, and an even better speaker. Through his teaching and writing, God has changed many lives. He certainly has had a big impact on mine.

While this book discusses and addresses the full spectrum of Love, Sex, and Dating, I believe the most powerful quote I gleaned from it is this:

“Become the person the person you are looking for is looking for.”

Read that a couple of times. It’ll hit you after the second or third time.

-Become the person the person you're

This sentence really is the main emphasis of the book. No matter what area of your relationship you want to work on, this sentence sums it up.

We can’t change the other person. We can only change ourselves. Period. Until that commitment is made, nothing else really matters.

As always, Andy Stanley pours himself out through his words and ideas. I even made a little note to myself after reading the first dozen or so pages: “Even in this book, Andy’s intent is to EMPTY his cup.” As a leader, I’ve never seen someone empty themselves better than Andy. In everything he does, he is trying to empty his cup so others may be filled. That my friend is the essence of a servant leader.

The desire Andy has to pour himself out is why he wrote this book. (There’s also an accompanying sermon/podcast series. I’ll post a link at the end.)

Here are a few quotes I made sure to write down as I read:

“Couples generally don’t have relationship problems. They have problems they bring to the relationship.” p.58

“Porn is job security for marriage counselors and divorce attorneys.” p.123

“She’s not a commodity. She’s a person. She deserves the truth.” p.126

“The essence of romance is discovering that the sole object of your affection has chosen you to be the sole object of his or her affection as well.” p.162

These are a small sampling of the “truth bombs” in this book.

While I recommend men and women both read this book, I want to specifically encourage the men reading this.

GUYS, there is one specific chapter that is a MUST READ.

Chapter 6: The Gentleman’s Club

I’m not going to fill you in on it. I want you to find the book and read it. Even if the ONLY chapter you read is chapter 6.

Disclaimer: I received this book from North Point Publishing ( in exchange for this review. But you need to know, I would have bought it and read it anyway.

I have two teenage boys at home. This book is exactly what I want them to read and exactly what I want to awkwardly discuss with them. Moms and Dads, single men and single women, should ALL read this book.

Here are some links to purchase the book and to learn more about Andy Stanley and the work of North Point Ministries.

Book: Love, Sex, & Dating

North Point Ministries:

Andy Stanley:

Be blessed my friends.

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