I pose this question to you because I need to pose it to myself. “Am I relying on my bank account, or am I relying on God?” Three months into this new adventure of working for myself, from home, I need to ask myself this hard question.
The balance in the bank account can be terrifying and it can be comforting. Sometimes it can be both at the exact same time with the exact same balance. While my wife and I have set aside the funds needed to journey on this adventure, I believe the comfort of knowing the money is available might possibly be hindering my performance.
Some of you will say, “Take it easy on yourself. It’s only been three months. You’re still adjusting.” Others, I’m sure, will say, “I knew it. He isn’t going to make it. He’ll have to find a real job.”
What I’m saying is “Where am I placing my confidence? Where am I placing my self-worth and my comfort?” I think lately it has been in the bank account. And that is the wrong place to be.
God wants me to place my confidence, my self-worth, and my comfort in him. As the weeks have gone by, the bank account balance has gone down. Nothing unexpected. But this last week it hit a dollar amount I’m not comfortable with on April 1st.
While reading Alli Worthington’s new book “Breaking Busy”, I wrote down these words:
“I’m relying more on the comfort of my bank account than on God.”
Dang it. I wanted to swear at Alli, and maybe at God.
God used Alli to open my eyes. To see what I had been missing for weeks. I was placing my comfort in the wrong place.
In the book, Alli was talking about building a business and all the stress, anxiety, uncertainty and bumps that come with it.
These lines from page 67 hit home for me.
“The journey was bumpy, sometimes easy, sometimes scary, but always a predestined trip.”
“The very God who spoke the world into motion, created you for a purpose.”
I had forgotten. I had misplaced my trust.
While I have been working all these weeks, I may not have been working “correctly” for lack of a better word. And while bumps and uncertainty are surely expected, I need to focus my efforts on obeying Him. He created me for a purpose. He told me to take this step. I forgot to place my trust in Him.
Isn’t this how life goes?
We work and work and work toward a goal, and when we arrive at the goal we forget what put the wheels in motion.
For me, God put the wheels in motion for this adventure. He promised me He would take care of me and my family, no matter what.
No. Matter. What.
I know some of you reading this have experienced the ups and downs of your own adventures. I’d like to leave you with this last thought from Alli, and I’ll apply it to my adventure too:
“If you stay focused on God, you will not miss your destiny.”
