Tag Archives: Encouragement

A Baseball and My Fear

I’ve been carrying around a brand new baseball for a little over a week.

I found it in my car when I was cleaning it out and transferring the contents to a new car. Why was it in the trunk? Back in September I made a trip to Nashville for a conference. The Start Conference was created as a companion to the book Start. Earlier in the year, Start was released by writer Jon Acuff. It is the follow-up to his highly successful book, Quitter. I read Start. I joined a crazy crew of people for a wild adventure dreamed up and built up by Jon in July. The conference in September allowed me to meet up with some of the crazy people (now friends) I had met online. Unfortunately not every one of the over 2,000 people in the online group were able to attend the conference. The baseball in my trunk was for one of those people. A baseball fanatic. Ethan Bryan.

I had planned on having the baseball signed by the crazy online friends who were able to attend the conference. I actually brought two baseballs with me. With over one hundred people needing to autograph a ball, two would be necessary.

I forgot. The baseballs stayed in my trunk.

That’s actually a lie.

I didn’t completely forget. I chose to leave them in the trunk. Why? Why didn’t I follow through? How hard could it be to have a few dozen people sign a baseball for an “online” friend? Well for me it was impossible. One simple thing got in my way.

FEAR.

Now, six months later, I laugh at myself. I laugh at the irony. I laugh at the ridiculous thought of not being able to walk up to these people and ask for an autograph on a baseball for one of our friends. The irony comes from a portion of the subtitle of Jon’s book. Here’s the full title:

Start: Punch Fear in the Face, Escape Average and Do Work That Matters

Yep. Right there in the title. Also the focus of the conference.

Jon even had a punching bag set up so we could put on boxing gloves and punch fear with our fists.

Photo used with permission.

I was nervous and shy. Up until that first afternoon of the conference, I’d never met any of these people in person. I had chatted online and spoken on the phone with a few of them, but no face to face interaction. I was excited to go to the conference. I wanted to be inspired by Jon and the other presenters. I thought I wanted to make face to face contact with my new friends. Fear was holding me back. I’ve been a sales consultant since 1997. I talk to strangers every day. It is a vital part of my job.

This was different though. This was a crowd of people. I don’t like crowds. I avoid small-talk. I’m not the person standing around with a half-dozen people after church chatting about, well, whatever “those people” chat about. I’d much rather sit with you at a table in a coffee shop.

Back to the baseball.

It is now the middle of March. Spring Training for Major League Baseball is in full swing. In less than three weeks my Detroit Tigers will open their regular season with a home game. Their opponent? Ethan Bryan’s beloved Kansas City Royals.

The baseball for Ethan goes with me in the car every day. It comes with me to my desk. I roll it around in my hand and try different grips while I work. When I’m home at night, I have it with me. Watching TV, reading a book, whatever I’m doing, I have it with me. My wife and boys think I’m weird. I’m okay with that. I know why I’m holding it. Ethan knows why I’m holding it.

Baseball is back.

Someday I will give this baseball to Ethan. Soon. Will it have a few dozen signatures from our mutual online friends on it when I give it to him? Maybe. But maybe I’ll save that for another time. Maybe this one will be special. We’ll play catch with it when we meet in person for the first time. And then I’ll autograph it and give it to Ethan to keep safe until the next time we meet.

What does FEAR keep you from doing?
Let me know in the comments. Join the conversation.

#Next3Decades

To learn more about Ethan Bryan, check out his blog: http://ethanbryan.wordpress.com/
He is a great writer and storyteller.

Stuck – Wondering Why

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I haven’t written, posted, published since January 1. 42 days. (Written on February 11, 2014)

Why? I had absolutely no clue until this morning. During my counseling session this morning we talked about why I may be stuck. What we surmised is that I may have given myself too much grace.

Instead of feeling the pressure to move forward with my dream this year, I recently extended the calendar. My wife will be attending grad school for 20 months beginning next January. I can’t jump into my dream this year and still have a viable income while she is in school. She’ll still be working, but not full-time. Plus, while she is “under the gun” for those 20 months, I should be running the house. The boys and I should make it as easy as possible for her to have the necessary time to study and relax. She shouldn’t have to be concerned with the dishes, the laundry, the grocery shopping and all the other things a family needs to look after every day. So I gave myself a break. No pressure. Instead of this year being my year, I’m now looking at a 3 year window. Without any deadlines or immediate goals, I slacked off. Kind of like the college professor giving the class an extra week to complete a term paper. Woohoo! No need to work on it right now. Let’s watch the Olympics, sleep in, read books, hang out with friends, etc. The work can come later. Oops.

While the idea of having time to work on a dream is appealing, sometimes the pressure is good for me. I looked at the lack of a deadline as a relief. I always dream in my head that I could get so much reading and writing accomplished if I was isolated for a month in a cabin in the mountains. I imagine being snowed in by a blizzard and producing an epic volume of content for blogs and books and articles. After talking about it this morning, I’m thinking a situation like that may not be so epic.

Today is my first attempt at writing. I placed a bit of pressure on myself by asking a few friends to check in on me by text between the hours of 10am and 3pm. Even if they don’t text me, the knowledge that they might text me pushes me to write. I want to be able to show them I’m working.

I am working. This is my second “article” of the morning. I finished a rough draft of an article I’ll submit to a blog I occasionally contribute to. It will be a good article. It needs editing. It needs clarification. It needs to stew. This is what needs to happen today. I need to write multiple words on multiple topics. Rough drafts. Crappy drafts. They can be edited later. Getting my thoughts out of my head, onto the screen, and letting them be for a few days, or weeks, is a good thing. Clear the space for more thoughts.

How do you get “unstuck”? What gets you “stuck”? Let me know in the comments. Let’s learn together! #Next3Decades

One Word

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A few days ago I sent out a tweet asking some friends, “What should be my #oneword for 2014?” Instead of making the traditional “resolutions”, I want to select a word to focus on for the year.

My Friends, Practicing My Word

Here are some of the suggestions offered by my friends in response to my tweet:
Courage
Intentional
Proactive
Awesome
Relevant
Delight
Abide
Present
Faith (in yourself and God)
Forward
Trust
Soon J

One friend emphasized that no matter the word I choose, “walk in it boldly!” Good point. To focus on one word for 12 months, one should certainly be bold about it. This also reminded me to choose wisely.

One word for the year is a big deal.

For the last 8 months or so of 2013 I attempted to focus on the word “intentional”. My life was turned upside down at the end of April. (You can read about that HERE.) I needed to work on some major changes in my daily life. I’m sure I’ll continue to focus on being intentional in 2014, but I’m at a place to add on to it and grow more as well.

While I pondered my “word” and read the responses to my tweet, I was also reading “Love Does” by Bob Goff. As the tweets came in, I was reading Chapter 21. The chapter title is “Hearing Aid.” As I read, and as the tweets came in, one word continued to roll around in my head.

LISTEN

I thought about the word for a few days. Would it work as a word to focus on for the year? What does it mean? Can it encompass multiple aspects to help create movement in my soul?

In his chapter “Hearing Aid”, Bob writes about “selective hearing” (married folks, you know what he means). He also writes about how we often have selective hearing when it comes to God speaking to us. Are we being lazy? Not trying to determine what God is saying to us? Do we need to listen harder with our heart?

I’ve been in that situation. Listening with my heart was not happening. At some point this past summer I realized I wasn’t listening, or living, with my heart. (You can read about it HERE.) As I intentionally searched my head and heart, I began to discover I was lacking quite a bit when it came to my heart.

Now as I look to 2014, I’m going to be intentional with my listening. I believe I can learn how to listen. Not only listen to God, but also to everyone around me.

Wife, Sons, Family, Friends, Co-workers, Mentors, Ministers, God

As for the words offered by my friends in response to my tweet, I’ll use them too. I believe each of those words ties in well with “LISTEN”. Over the coming months I’ll write about each of those words and how they have worked in conjunction with listening.

Here we go! Happy New Year! I’m ready to “LISTEN”!

What word did you select for 2014? Share it in the comments. Join the conversation.