Author Archives: Rick

I Have A Confession To Make

What in the world would I possibly want to confess on a blog? Deep dark secrets shouldn’t be confessed in public. Should they?

Well. Here it goes.

I cheated. I cheated on all my friends and acquaintances who are non-fiction writers.

I read a novel.

I’ll let this sink in for a minute…

Okay. Now that you’ve hopefully gotten past the initial shock, let’s discuss what led me astray.

I was bullied. A group of friends ganged up on me and insisted I leave the comfort of my non-fiction world. They tempted me with words like “fantasy”, “creativity”, “growth”, and “relaxation”.

It took them a while. But after months of pushing I finally gave in to their sweet temptations.

“I’ll just try it once”, I said to myself. “I won’t get hooked.” “I’ll be able to stop.”

I’m still clinging to those words. But it isn’t easy. Now that I finished one, I’m finding so many others to try.

I must stay strong.

The novel I read was recommended by numerous people. Is it possible they conspired against me and all recommended the same book?

What book?

11/22/63 by Stephen King

I couldn’t put it down. Seriously.

This past Saturday was dreary and rainy. I had the day off. I don’t think I ever left the house. I didn’t even turn on the baseball game.

I read the last 400 or so pages in one sitting. I’m not even sure if my family was home. They must have been. Someone must have taken the dog out at some point, right?

All kidding aside, it was great to get out of my comfort zone and read for pleasure.

11/22/63 is a huge book. If you’re thinking about reading it, and I highly recommend you do, don’t let the size get in the way. It’s a fast read. It keeps your attention. It also makes you think.

While it isn’t a horror novel, as many would expect from King, it does make you pay attention and it may cause some issues with your dreams at night. Nothing scary, but not your normal dream process either.

One thing that attracted me to this particular novel is the historical aspect. It is based on a specific event in U.S. history. The Kennedy Assassination.

I’m very much into presidential history. Not too long from now I’ll have read at least one biography for every president.

So there it is.

I cheated.

If you’re like me, and I know a large majority of you reading this have similar interests to mine, I recommend it’s time for you to cheat too.

Go ahead. You can do it. Trust me.

What novels have you recently read that you’d recommend? Make sure you tell us why you liked it!

What I learned from NOT writing my first book. Yet.

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During the summer of 2014 I was convinced I was going to write a book. My first book. I had a topic, and I had ideas pouring out of my head. The passion to write a book was oozing out of me. I even made an announcement right here on my blog. “I’m Writing A Book” July 2014

I was gung-ho. I was all in. The ideas pouring out of my head were pure gold!

And then a few weeks passed. And a few more. And a few more.

I was still committed to writing the book. I even made it my “Push Goal” in January when I went through a program to help me determine and define my goals for 2015.

I took my notes from the previous six months and created an outline for the book. I divided the notes into the appropriate sections.

My trusty journal was with me every day so I could capture ideas and thoughts and quotes for the book.

But there was one problem.

The passion was gone.

Did I still want to write the book? You bet! This is something I’ve dreamed of for a couple of years. “I’m going to write a book!”

I tried. I really did. I sat down with my notes and laptop a few times. But I couldn’t move forward.

Without the passion for the topic, I was paralyzed. I couldn’t move forward. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t continue.

So a few weeks ago I decided to stop. I told some friends. I told my wife. I told 2,200 friends in a closed Facebook group who I’ve been interacting with for almost two years.

Do you know what happened? Everyone who commented, and everyone I spoke with, including my wife, congratulated me for being able to set it aside. They know how badly I want to write. They know writing and speaking is what I’m supposed to be doing. They also knew something I didn’t. They knew setting aside the book would help me write more. They knew setting aside the book would help me feel free to be the person I need to be.

You see, the book I’m NOT writing is about encouragement. I’m passionate about pouring into others. The pressure I put on myself to write the book stopped me from being the encourager I want to be.

I was trying to write a book about encouragement, but I wasn’t encouraging anyone. Including myself.

Since setting the book aside I’ve been able to return to the activities that originally spurred the idea of writing the book.

I’ve talked to more people on the phone. I’ve talked to more people face-to-face. I’ve been intentional about touching base with people in real life and online.

I’m happier. I’m not stressed every time I do something on my day off not related to writing the book.

And one other thing has happened. I’ve written notes for the book in my journal almost every day.

So while I’m no longer writing the book, I’m making progress on writing the book. I can’t wait for you to read it. Eventually.

Have you ever set aside a project and reaped incredible rewards? Did you eventually go back and complete the project?

Love, Sex, Dating

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How’s that for an attention getter!?

Yes, you guessed it. The topic of this post will be awkward. But you know, sometimes awkward is the only way to handle something, and usually it turns out to be the best way.

The attention grabbing title comes from the book “The New Rules For Love, Sex, & Dating” by Andy Stanley. Andy is the lead pastor and founder of Atlanta-based North Point Ministries. Andy is an outstanding writer, and an even better speaker. Through his teaching and writing, God has changed many lives. He certainly has had a big impact on mine.

While this book discusses and addresses the full spectrum of Love, Sex, and Dating, I believe the most powerful quote I gleaned from it is this:

“Become the person the person you are looking for is looking for.”

Read that a couple of times. It’ll hit you after the second or third time.

This sentence really is the main emphasis of the book. No matter what area of your relationship you want to work on, this sentence sums it up.

We can’t change the other person. We can only change ourselves. Period. Until that commitment is made, nothing else really matters.

As always, Andy Stanley pours himself out through his words and ideas. I even made a little note to myself after reading the first dozen or so pages: “Even in this book, Andy’s intent is to EMPTY his cup.” As a leader, I’ve never seen someone empty themselves better than Andy. In everything he does, he is trying to empty his cup so others may be filled. That my friend is the essence of a servant leader.

The desire Andy has to pour himself out is why he wrote this book. (There’s also an accompanying sermon/podcast series. I’ll post a link at the end.)

Here are a few quotes I made sure to write down as I read:

“Couples generally don’t have relationship problems. They have problems they bring to the relationship.” p.58

“Porn is job security for marriage counselors and divorce attorneys.” p.123

“She’s not a commodity. She’s a person. She deserves the truth.” p.126

“The essence of romance is discovering that the sole object of your affection has chosen you to be the sole object of his or her affection as well.” p.162

These are a small sampling of the “truth bombs” in this book.

While I recommend men and women both read this book, I want to specifically encourage the men reading this.

GUYS, there is one specific chapter that is a MUST READ.

Chapter 6: The Gentleman’s Club

I’m not going to fill you in on it. I want you to find the book and read it. Even if the ONLY chapter you read is chapter 6.

Disclaimer: I received this book from North Point Publishing (andystanley.com) in exchange for this review. But you need to know, I would have bought it and read it anyway.

I have two teenage boys at home. This book is exactly what I want them to read and exactly what I want to awkwardly discuss with them. Moms and Dads, single men and single women, should ALL read this book.

Here are some links to purchase the book and to learn more about Andy Stanley and the work of North Point Ministries.

Book: Love, Sex, & Dating

North Point Ministries: http://northpoint.org/

Andy Stanley: http://andystanley.com/

Be blessed my friends.