The expectations of society on men vary. One sector tells men to be “manly men” with a scruff of a beard, work boots, flannel shirts and dirty hands at the end of the work day. Another sector of society tells men to be “clean-cut” with a sharp suit, $300 shoes, the perfect coif, and a 9-5 job that is actually a 6-9 job full of fast paced business decisions and high-powered meetings. There are also sectors in society that tell men to be timid and reserved. Another sector tells men to be a “great dad”. Men are pulled many different ways. Every day.
My question for men is this: What should you be? Where do you find yourself falling on the “man spectrum”? Is there one perfect model of what you should be as a man?
My answer to the question is that there isn’t one single perfect place on this spectrum. God created us all as unique people. What society tells us to be, isn’t necessarily wrong, but it isn’t right either. I’m certain there are men in $3000 suits and men in work boots who are both following the path God has for them. What society thinks about each of these men can vary.
Do you have a stereotype in your mind when the slick looking business professional walks into your auto repair shop? Is it different from your stereotype of the man in work boots wearing the Carhartt overalls? Do you value one over the other?
Value. Usefulness. Worth. Importance.
Modern society, by which I mean the all invading modern marketing and media, places “value” on money. Often the value of a human revolves around how much income is created by and around an individual. A popular professional athlete is perceived to have a far greater reach when compared to a person with a four month old blog with nine subscribers. The athlete has a higher “value” in our society.
Do you have a high value in society? Do we fall prey to the marketing influences in our daily lives as we place values on individuals?
Popular media seems to typically portray men as bumbling idiots in many of the popular sitcoms…not the message I like my kids to receive. On the other hand, I think many men are failing to step up as leaders of their family, church, and communities, perhaps being too busy at work or perhaps selfishly pursuing their own interests at the expense of leading in these other areas. I am in a men’s Bible study at church where we delve into these issues. There is a lot of work to do and a lot of benefits to be gained by working to equip men to stand up as leaders and to become respected by society again . Seems to be a growing area of discussion, at least in many Christian circles.
Thanks, Mike
Mike – Thanks for visiting My Sandbox. Hang around for more posts on the same topic. Thanks for joining the conversation.
As a fellow car dealer, I can totally relate. When two customers pull up at the same time, one in a Mercedes and the other in a Taurus, it is easy to assume the more valuable customer would be driving the Mercedes. I have found that the most valuable customer is the one that knows they are important to me, regardless of what they drive.
Justin – Agreed. Perfectly real world analogy.
This is something I like to talk with pre-teens and teens about. A lot of boys have such a desire to be a MAN but there are so many ideas being thrown at them about what that means, they are left confused. I talk about how it’s not your ability to throw a football, play an instrument, change the oil in a car, how many kills you get in Halo, how much money you make, or your ability to grow a beard. At least I hope not because the only thing listed there that I’m good at is doing an oil change!
None of the things listed above are bad, but they don’t define us as men. We discuss qualities listed in the Bible instead. I tend to lean towards 1 Timothy 3. The qualifications of Elders and Deacons are listed there but I think they are qualities we should be striving for. Then we also look at the example of Jesus. Great post Rick!
Brandon – Thanks for your thoughts on the topic. I agree with you completely. 1 Timothy 3 is an excellent place to begin the discussion. Thanks for visiting My Sandbox.
Rick, good post. I would venture a guess that there might be some who put more value on activities that are centered around professional ministry or nonprofit sector than the public sector or Wall Street. In all honesty, what makes the most sense is that I trust that individuals are partnering with the Spirit in determining the most appropriate career, calling, or even activity of the day or moment.
Personally, I would much rather walk with a man who isn’t trying to fit into a role defined by a mask, but rather one who is comfortable in his own skin.
Rick, I think the ultimate man is one who finds success in these 4 areas: 1) spiritual leader of his household; 2) does his best to be a provider; 3) demonstrates radical integrity; and 4) shows love to others.
Everything else is just fluff. Great post today!
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