Tag Archives: Emotion

A Holy Experience

Something happened to me on Monday. It’s hard to describe. I think the best way to explain it would be to say the Holy Spirit moved in me.

image

During Lent this year, I’ve been working through a 40 day prayer challenge. Using Mark Batterson‘s book, Draw the Circle – The 40 Day Prayer Challenge, I have daily spent time reading a devotional and learning how to pray with intent.

Monday was day 35. At some point early Monday afternoon, I began to feel a strong urge to go pray. I’m not talking about finding a quiet place at work to pray for a few minutes. This was a full-on urge or push or whatever you want to call it, to leave work and spend significant time in prayer.

I didn’t know what to do.

How could I simply leave work? What would I say to my boss? What about my customers who were expecting to see me when they arrived later? And it wasn’t like I could simply hold out until 5pm. This “feeling” began early in the afternoon. Maybe around 1pm. On Mondays I work until 8pm.

I decided I’d at least begin with leaving for lunch. Usually I eat at my desk, but I knew this needed to be different. My intent was to grab some lunch and go sit in my truck somewhere and pray.

As I walked to my truck I realized I needed to ignore my hunger. It could wait. This needed to be a time focused on prayer.

I drove to a nearby parking lot where I wouldn’t be bothered. And I prayed. I prayed for over an hour. I prayed for the four items I’ve been circling in prayer during the 40 day challenge. I closed my eyes, opened my hands, and prayed.

I prayed for God to calm my mind.

I prayed for God to open my ears.

I prayed for God to open my heart.

I prayed for God to speak to me, and to pour His love and power into my heart so I could be more obedient to His calling in my life.

The call to pray was crystal clear. I answered the call the best I could at the time. I had to return to work. There were people relying on me.

The time I spent praying was wonderful. The experience was what I had been searching for, and at least partly the intent behind participating in the 40 Day Prayer Challenge.

There is certainly a rebirth occurring in my prayer life. I’ve learned how important it is to be intentional, committed and consistent with prayer.

Prayer can begin a rebirth in your life. It has in mine.

Through these last weeks I have grown exponentially in some areas of my prayer life, and not at all in other areas. It is a learning experience. It is a growth experience.

I’m growing closer to God. I’m learning how to listen for the still small voice of the Holy Spirit.

I’ve been planning all along to write about the experience of the 40 Day Prayer Challenge. I hadn’t been planning to do it this soon. But this was necessary. Very necessary.

In the weeks after Easter I will share more about what I learned during the 40 days. I hope you’ll come back to read more.

Have you ever felt you should drop everything and go pray? I’d love to have you share your story in the comments!

Holding On

Recently I discovered myself holding on to something.

Heavy-Burden

I had been holding on to it for quite a long time. I can remember when I began holding it. You would think I would have let go by now. I couldn’t.

The brutal honest fact is that most of the time I didn’t know I was holding it. I had become so comfortable with it that I forgot I was holding it.

During a counseling session a couple of weeks ago, I suddenly realized I was holding it.
(Yep. Counseling. Mom it’s okay. People can know that your 42-year-old son is seeing a counselor.)

It was heavy. Unbearably heavy.

How did I become so comfortable with this extremely heavy burden?

Over the course of almost three decades I had learned to live with it. It is a close comfortable friend. Well, not really a friend.

I’m sure you understand. I’m sure there is a person in your life that is always around. You’ve tried to leave a few times, but the separation never really happens. They are with you.

Always.

Many times they are present during the good times. But you know in your heart the soul piercing dagger they wield will show up eventually. Once again you will wonder why you put up with their mere presence in your life.

But you know why you let them remain. They are comfortable. An always present baseline of sorts.

Soul sucking people. Soul sucking events. Soul sucking, joy killing actions.

Why do we hold them so tightly?

What I’m holding isn’t a person. It is an event. More accurately, a series of events.

These events came to me one at a time. Each one found a place to sit in my psyche. One at a time doesn’t weigh too much. All together is a different story.

 

Are you holding something tightly that is destructive? How long have you had a death grip on it? What would happen if you let it go?

 

**Read “Letting Go” to learn more about my depression and ongoing recovery/”battle”.

Music

What is it about music that stirs and revives our souls?

 

Dog listening to music

If you read this post, your are required to click each link and listen to the music.

Dobie Gray – Drift Away (Original Official Video)
http://youtu.be/NIuyDWzctgY

Lyrics help express feelings. Many times they help us pull ideas and memories out from the deep recesses of our minds. Those memories of high school or childhood that come rushing back when you hear a certain song. It may happen in an elevator, or as the ice cream truck rolls past. (My wife and I told our boys the ice cream truck was the “music truck” when they were little.) You think to yourself “Wow. I wish I could go back to that moment.” Many of us feel our souls rising up to God through music. Alone and in a time of sorrow, but also during times of corporate worship. I love singing traditional hymns in the traditional way. Harmonies rise from different pews with the familiar tones of fellow church members of the last 40 years. I can distinctly hear my Dad when we sing many traditional songs in church. He has a unique tone. Sometimes it grinds on me, but mostly it brings me to a comfortable place of warmth and familiarity.

Music resonates deep in the human soul. It has a power to connect us with others and to open our hearts to new feelings. This experience is universal. How many of us have been in a different country and have been blessed to worship with a congregation in a very different language. When the music begins, even if you don’t have any idea of the words being spoken, the music joins you together.

I love these words shared with me by my friend Liz Clark as I was preparing to write this post.

“Music awakens something, changes the air inside my soul.”

This is so very true. No matter the music you prefer. Sacred or secular. Music does something to us. And it is wonderful. Many times we struggle to find words to express our true feelings, and then we turn to music. When you were young, did you share favorite songs with a young man or young woman you were pursuing? At your wedding did you select a specific, meaningful song? I did. And I sang it to my beautiful bride during our wedding. December 30, 1993. (Sing is a relative term here. I cried my way through it.)

Steven Curtis Chapman
“I Will Be Here”
http://youtu.be/qWzGmtro7cE

Music Gives A Soul

I have found over the years that I need to sing. My soul, my psyche, my emotions, they all need me to sing. They need to connect with music on a daily basis. I need to sing words, but music without words works well too. Orchestral pieces, marching bands, etc, work very well when the words are not enough. The beauty of a symphony can touch us deeply. Aaron Copland’s “Lincoln Portrait” brings deep meaning and a connectedness to the gravity of what our greatest president dealt with on a daily basis. Have you ever felt emotion while listening to Tchaikovsky’s “1812 Overture”? Yep. Thought so. How about the United States Marine Corps Hymn or the Navy Hymn? If you are an American and those don’t bring up emotions I don’t know what will.

Here’s one more to listen to. Again, tugging at the American sense of patriotism, what does this do to you?

National Anthem by The Tenors at Falcons vs. Seahawks game
http://youtu.be/sZoivVwaZpA

What songs/music moves you? Please share a link in the comments below.