Tag Archives: Dream

Doing What I Want

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The other day, Alli Worthington posted this tweet:

 

It got me thinking. Why wouldn’t I try to be the person I want to be? How did we ever get to the point of trying to meet the expectations of others?

 

So often in our lives we try to conform to expectations others have for us. Parents, teachers, pastors, friends, spouses, etc. Even if the expectations aren’t verbalized, somehow our fallen minds end up internalizing expectations we believe others have of us.

As a parent of two teenagers, I have to ask myself if I’m telling them what they “should” be. My oldest son is a senior in high school. He’s looking at college next year and majoring in physics. Did I tell him he should be go into physics? I’m pretty the answer is “NO”.

But, have I encouraged him to investigate other interests?

When he was younger, he was a prolific artist. And, quite good. He doesn’t draw anymore. Why? I’m pretty sure his mom and I haven’t discouraged him from it. Did someone else? Did society tell him he shouldn’t look to art as a career?

Don’t get me wrong. I love that he has a passion for math and science. He’s excited about physics! This is good. What if he changes his mind after the first year? I’m sure the dollar signs in my head would tell me to be upset, but hopefully the loving parent in me would encourage him to pursue his passion, whatever it may turn to.

The world tells us we should be many things.

I’ve been a salesman for over 17 years. Am I stuck with this identity? I hope not.

As I attempt to change this identity, I do find at times I’m being told to stay where I am. Why change?

This past weekend I was away from home at a retreat. I was introduced to a few people. One person asked me what I do? Of course the obvious came out of my mouth, “I’m a car salesman.” But!!! I hesitated. I ALMOST said something else.

“I’m a writer.”

Those are the words I wish I had the courage to say. Those are the words I SHOULD say.

Society tells me I “should” be a salesman. I’m ready to change my identity. Are you?

What are you told you “should” be? 
I’d love to hear from you in the comments!

Pondering

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Q: Is it possible to be over coached?

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A few months ago I wrote this question down after a counseling session. I had begun counseling a few months earlier and had been through many sessions. Very good sessions. But, my therapist seemed at a roadblock of sorts. I was right there with him. The progress we had experienced at the start of our sessions had slowed dramatically. It wasn’t that the sessions were useless, but more like they needed to be spread out over a longer period of time. At the beginning the progress we made was extraordinary. It was obvious the deep need for me to see a professional was there. On the second or third visit a big breakthrough was made. It was like a huge weight was lifted off my shoulders. You can read about it HERE.

For a number of sessions after the huge breakthrough, we discussed a wide variety of items, actions, plans, homework, etc. But, I was anxious. I was hopeful. I was anticipating the next big breakthrough. What was going to come next? The first big release was incredible! I wanted it to happen again. We kept at it for a while. At the end of one session he said those words I didn’t want to hear.

“What if there isn’t another big thing?”

I understood. We were trying hard to dig some more crap out of a place that didn’t necessarily have any more to give. Now what do we do?

Well, now we don’t see each other as often. Instead of every week, or every other week, the appointments are more along the lines of once a month. Sometimes even 5 or 6 weeks apart. We had come to the conclusion that I was being over coached. Too many instructions were being given in an attempt to find something. It was time for me to do the work on my own.

For me, working on my own revolves around reading, writing, talking, and thinking. A better way to put it might look like this: Pondering over ideas and potential actions.

Ponder. I like the word. I think it describes my preferred mode of operation. I like to take my time with an idea. I’m certainly not the knee jerk reaction let the words fly, kind of guy. I’d rather chew on a topic for a bit.

I’m a slow reader. Deliberate. Intentional. I like to let the ideas in a book, and the words of a sermon or speech, sink in and stew. I typically do this when I write too. I’ll jot down some notes, write a few paragraphs, and then let it sit for a while. Sometimes the longer an idea stews, the better it becomes. The clarity of the words comes into a much sharper focus.

Do you ponder? Do you jump right in?
I’d love to hear about your methods. Let me know in the “Comments” section. Join the conversation.
#Next3Decades

 

Fear and Trust

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“Our own apathy and fear keep us from presenting the Word.” – Curt Walters

Photo Credit: Libby Norcross, www.libbydoodle.com

Photo Credit: Libby Norcross, www.libbydoodle.com

 

So often we become caught up in obsessing over our “Calling” in this world. We spend hours upon hours, and dollars upon dollars, trying to discern what we are supposed to do with our lives. We think a clear path is waiting for us. We think we need to see the ‘end result’ before we see the path to travel on the way.

Yesterday (Sunday, May 11, 2014) I listened while my pastor blew this notion out of the water.

The title for the morning sermon was “The World’s First Mission Trip.” It wasn’t what we usually think of when we hear the words “mission trip.” This was about Paul and Barnabas being sent out from the church in Antioch. The only plan they had was to share the gospel with those they met on their journey. They went where the Holy Spirit led, with no specific destination in mind.

When was the last time your church sent out a missionary this way? Most likely, never.

God had a plan for this particular sermon on this particular day. (As I suspect is always the case.)

The day before, Pastor Jerry Van Oyen passed away. Pastor Van Oyen was the minister at my church when I was young. From the earliest I can remember, until Middle School, he was the man on the pulpit.

Since then, about a 30 year time frame, he left to pastor and lead churches in a variety of places and a variety of ways. Eventually, as ‘retirement’ settled in, he and his wife Ellen, returned to my church. But he never stopped being a pastor. More importantly, he never stopped being a true evangelist. From Mexico to Cutlerville, and every point in between, he was truly an evangelist. His wife even quipped that he wouldn’t be of any use in Heaven. I’ll have to tell her I disagree.

Even as I sat in the pew yesterday morning, Pastor Van Oyen was evangelizing and leading. He was leading me.

Combined with the sermon, I became more than ever confident of my calling from God.

So often we are afraid to truly give ourselves to the leading of the Lord. We’re afraid he will send us to the most uncomfortable place in the world. We pray for leading. We pray for proper preparation. Do we truly embrace and release ourselves to what he has in store for us? Do we give in and let fear hold us back?

I know I’ve been pushing back a bit. Out of fear of the unknown I decide to hold back. No more.

I am confident in my current calling. God wants me to write. God wants me to speak. God wants me to share my story with you. Whatever I have to give, I will give. Whatever trust issues I had, I will toss aside. I will listen to his speaking. I will go where he wants me to go. I will write and speak the words he gives me. I will share.

Once I decided to let go of my fear, God provided.

I have a speaking engagement on my calendar. The third weekend in June I will be in Tulsa, Oklahoma. I wasn’t sure how I was going to make it happen. Once I released my fear, and placed my full trust in God’s plan for me, it became clear. God provided a way for me to be in Tulsa.

I look forward to sharing my calling and God’s plan with all of you.

So, toss off your own fear. Listen intently. Follow and go where you are called. Trust. Truly trust in his plan. He knows what he is doing.

Have you been holding back because of fear? Where have you pushed fear aside to follow God’s plan?

#Next3Decades