Tag Archives: Encouragement

Book Review – Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good Enough by Justin and Trisha Davis

“To overcome an ordinary marriage, you have to fight for your spouse, not with your spouse.”

Beyond Ordinary: When a Good Marriage Just Isn’t Good Enough

When was the last time you fought FOR your spouse? I’m guessing you fought with your spouse more recently than you fought for your spouse. For some people, me included, the idea of fighting for your spouse is a bit odd. Didn’t I fight for her when I wanted to date her? I assumed I didn’t need to fight for her any longer when we both said “I do” on our wedding day. In this outstanding book, Justin and Trisha Davis try to help us throw this kind of thinking out the window.

The Davis’ have crafted a book to encourage all of us. Whether you are married, single, or divorced, this book will provide you with valuable skills and ideas to improve a marriage and the other relationships in your life. Through the sharing of their personal story of young love, ignorance, assumptions, betrayal, and finally an incredible God blessed renewal, they present the reader with a plan for strength in marriage and relationship.

Personally, this book was a slap in the face. It has served as a wake-up call for me. Convinced of the incredible power in the story and message of this book, I did a couple of things out of the norm for me. The first thing I did was to ask my wife to read the book. When I finished it she was in the middle of an online college class (on top of her full-time job), so only recently did she begin reading it. The second action involved spending some money so I could share the power of the message. I haven’t kept exact count, but I believe I’ve given away ten copies of the book. It is that good.

Because I don’t want to tell the whole story of the book, I’m going to keep this review a bit on the vague side. This story needs to be read by you personally. You need to experience it on your own. Please, trust me. You NEED to read this book. Here are a few key passages I highlighted.

“God doesn’t want to improve your marriage; he wants to transform it. God doesn’t want to modify your behavior; he wants to change your heart. Extraordinary comes when you, as a husband or wife, invite God to change you.”

I’ll add one word to the end of that sentence. “…invite God to change you” TOGETHER. God is not calling us to be transformed alone. A marriage isn’t supposed to be ‘alone’ or for individuals. Marriage is meant to be experienced TOGETHER. So many of us live through our marriages alone and on our own. Yes, there are other people in the house, but we are still surviving as individuals. Justin and Trisha share an incredible story. Their story calls us to do our marriage TOGETHER.

You + Your Spouse + God = TOGETHER

Does this quote feel familiar?

“…the success of our marriage was arranged around what we could avoid, rather than loving each other more deeply, knowing each other better, sharing our dreams more, understanding our passions, and growing our intimacy with one another.”

What are you avoiding in your marriage? When was the last time your shared your dream with your spouse? Do you know what inspires passion in your spouse? How about intimacy?

Do you hold anything against your spouse? Or, do you hold anything against yourself that may be keeping you from sharing your full self with your spouse? Read this book.

I am amazed and thankful for the incredible depth of their relationship shared by Justin and Trisha. Extreme sorrow and brokenness are combined with profound joy and transformation. What for all intents and purposes should have ended in incredible sorrow, God saw fit to use for incredible renewal and joy. Get this book. Read it. Use this book to inspire renewal in your life. When you finish it, apply the messages you learned. And then, share it. The Davis’ shared their story as a healing gift for others. I’m going to share mine too. Please join me. Let’s use our stories to improve the lives of those around us.

Visit the Refine Us website to learn more about the Davis’, their journey, and the outstanding resources available to strengthen your marriage.

Do you have a story of pain and renewal as it relates to marriage? Have you experienced incredible, miraculous healing from God in your marriage? I’d love to hear your story. Share your story in the comments, or contact me directly at ricktheule@gmail.com

I’d love to hear from you.

My Loose Pants

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Something fun happened yesterday (‘yesterday’ was the 17^th of March). It may seem odd to you that I call this ‘fun’, but it’s my blog so I can call it whatever I want.

The fun thing? I realized my pants were too loose. My belt is also too big. This is a first for me. I’m accustomed to having the opposite problem. Pants too small? Yep. I have a familiarity with that particular issue. Pants too big?? Well this is something altogether new.

Over the course of the last few months, I’ve lost more than 15 pounds.

I need new dress pants. I need new jeans. It scares me to buy them. I may wait a while longer. What if I begin going up again?

I’m not participating in a diet plan. I’m not ‘juicing’. I’m eating less. By eating smaller portions, cutting out snacks, drinking more water and generally paying attention to what I’m shoving in my mouth, I’ve been able to slowly lose some weight.

I do have someone helping me. Friends of mine who live in Florida have a passion for helping people become healthy. They helped me start down this path by introducing me to a way to change my eating habits. It is working.

15 pounds sounds good. It makes me sound successful. But I’ve only just begun. My goal is to lose another 25 pounds. I’m not setting a date. I’m not signing up for a 5K. I’m not training for a Triathlon. I’m changing my lifestyle. One small step at a time.

One year ago tomorrow, March 28, 2013, I began this journey.

It was the first day of Spring Break for my sons. We were on our way to a week of vacation in Gulf Shores, Alabama. For whatever reason, this day was DAY ONE.

I’m not sure as to why the journey began. Sure, I knew I needed to lose weight. But I began the journey on the 1^st day of a VACATION! Who does that? Most of us use a vacation as a way to excuse ourselves from eating healthy. We drop the idea of trying to “diet”. No salads on vacation. I did something different this time. I stopped drinking pop (or, soda for those of you not living in the Midwest).

How much pop did I typically drink in a day? Did you see the picture at the top of this post? Depending on the day, I might down one can, or two, or quite a bit more. I had a Coke addiction. I used to joke with co-workers about it as I made my way to the machine. Unfortunately, it was an addiction. How bad could it be you say? Bad. Real bad.

Even now, one year later, I would love to have an ice-cold Coke. In a glass with ice. In an ice-cold can. If I’m thirsty and I see an ad for Coke on a billboard, or on TV, I want one. Even as I type these words my mouth is watering and my desire for the sweet delicious liquid is heightened. One year later. Amazing.

No pop on a trip was the start of my weight loss journey. What began as a game in my head to see how long I could hold-out has turned into a lifestyle change. A good one. (Full disclosure: Every so often I have been known to drink a little root beer, and Sprite has shown up too. But, no cola. Not one.)

I’ve also been cutting WAY back on my consumption of fast food. I’m not perfect on this one. I love a Wendy’s hamburger for lunch on Thursday or Friday. Strangely, it never satisfies me. A couple of hours later I’m hungry again. This is where I would have gone for the Coke in the past. Now I need to figure out a different solution. Coffee and water have been the solution for me. Water, water, water and more water. It is amazing to me how this simple liquid can satisfy many of my hunger and thirst needs.

I’ll write more about my journey to a healthy lifestyle. I’m sure it won’t be a frequent topic, but the whole loose pants issue was begging to be written.

In the comments below, I’d love to know your answers to the following questions. Join the conversation!
What small changes have you made to improve your life? What changes could you make?

Why I Write

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I am called to refresh others.
I am called to speak words of encouragement and inspiration into the lives of people.

Photo courtesy of Julie Beth Theule

This is why I write. I have been called to write the words of my heart and share them with you.

Do I have a great and glorious revelation to share with you? No. I have words given to me over the course of the 43 years of my life. Words of my story I wish to share with you. Words are bursting out of me. Every day.

My story is no different from your own. We all experience joy, sorrow, triumph, defeat, success and failure. I am called to share my stories with you so you too can better understand this life you live. My words may inspire you to greatness. My words may bring you to deep despair. Either way, I’m going to share them with you. If my words move you to greatness, HALLELUJAH! If my words bring you deep despair, I pray God will meet you in that despair and restore you to HALLELUJAH!

The written word and the spoken word are powerful.

I’m not writing out of a selfish need for validation. (At least I shouldn’t be.) I’m writing so I may share what has been given to me.

I’ve been called to share the words I’ve been given. I wrote the quote below in my journal a few months ago. I didn’t make a note of the source, so I cannot give proper credit, but I love these words and I need to share them with you.

“It’s not God’s plan for us to collect seed. God’s plan is for us to plant the seed.
Do something with what you have.” – unknown

I’ve been collecting words like seed. Now it is time for planting.

I am being called to write and speak. May my words be seeds. May they find rich soil. May they grow and have life in you. May they produce a harvest filled with overflowing HALLELUJAH!!