Tag Archives: Writing

What I learned from NOT writing my first book. Yet.

During the summer of 2014 I was convinced I was going to write a book. My first book. I had a topic, and I had ideas pouring out of my head. The passion to write a book was oozing out of me. I even made an announcement right here on my blog. “I’m Writing A Book” July 2014

I was gung-ho. I was all in. The ideas pouring out of my head were pure gold!

And then a few weeks passed. And a few more. And a few more.

I was still committed to writing the book. I even made it my “Push Goal” in January when I went through a program to help me determine and define my goals for 2015.

I took my notes from the previous six months and created an outline for the book. I divided the notes into the appropriate sections.

My trusty journal was with me every day so I could capture ideas and thoughts and quotes for the book.

But there was one problem.

The passion was gone.

Did I still want to write the book? You bet! This is something I’ve dreamed of for a couple of years. “I’m going to write a book!”

I tried. I really did. I sat down with my notes and laptop a few times. But I couldn’t move forward.

Without the passion for the topic, I was paralyzed. I couldn’t move forward. As much as I wanted to, I couldn’t continue.

So a few weeks ago I decided to stop. I told some friends. I told my wife. I told 2,200 friends in a closed Facebook group who I’ve been interacting with for almost two years.

Do you know what happened? Everyone who commented, and everyone I spoke with, including my wife, congratulated me for being able to set it aside. They know how badly I want to write. They know writing and speaking is what I’m supposed to be doing. They also knew something I didn’t. They knew setting aside the book would help me write more. They knew setting aside the book would help me feel free to be the person I need to be.

You see, the book I’m NOT writing is about encouragement. I’m passionate about pouring into others. The pressure I put on myself to write the book stopped me from being the encourager I want to be.

I was trying to write a book about encouragement, but I wasn’t encouraging anyone. Including myself.

Since setting the book aside I’ve been able to return to the activities that originally spurred the idea of writing the book.

I’ve talked to more people on the phone. I’ve talked to more people face-to-face. I’ve been intentional about touching base with people in real life and online.

I’m happier. I’m not stressed every time I do something on my day off not related to writing the book.

And one other thing has happened. I’ve written notes for the book in my journal almost every day.

So while I’m no longer writing the book, I’m making progress on writing the book. I can’t wait for you to read it. Eventually.

Have you ever set aside a project and reaped incredible rewards? Did you eventually go back and complete the project?

My Virtual Mentors

13 Replies

The Internet and Social Media give me the ability to learn at the feet of great mentors.

Most of the time they don’t even know they are mentoring me. There are some exceptions to this, like when after following and reading material from someone for many months, or even years, you begin interacting with them via social media, or you talk in person on the phone or at a conference.

Here are mine….Who are yours?

These are mentors I look to while on my current path from my Day Job to my Dream Job. Will these ever change? I’m 100% certain of it.

As my goals in life change, my mentors will change. Some mentors are long-term, and some short-term. Will I ever outgrow the incredible leadership wisdom offered by Andy Stanley? Probably not. But, I may transition to a different leadership mentor, or add one.

Jeff Goins, Ally Vesterfelt, and Jon Acuff are key mentors for my current growth as a writer.

Ally in particular has had a huge impact on me as a beginner or new writer. Her short book, “Writing to Find Yourself” (available through her writing course) has really pushed me to speak my mind, and to use my own words to express my thoughts and ideas.

Jeff’s writing, through his blog and books, helps me understand I need to continually work on the craft of writing.

Jon has been pivotal in pushing me to understand I don’t need to stay where I am as far as a career. Jon is so open about his career. He continues to share the guts and details of his changing life as a writer, entrepreneur, husband and dad. I think the only way I could learn more from Jon is if he let me live with him (pretty sure Jenny will say no to that idea).

Michele Cushatt is the epitome of courage and empathy to me. Even before her current battle with cancer, she showed to me through her writing what it means to be authentic and caring for the people around you. Whether those people are family members or blog followers like me, she shows a true understanding of the emotion of people.

Michael Hyatt has been a leadership guru for a number of years, and now he is vital to my growth in the area of setting and attaining goals in my career. I learn at least one thing from Michael every time I read or listen to him.

Finally, Mark Batterson has forever altered my prayer life. Over the last couple of years he has pushed me to pray boldly. He has shown me the truth of how big my God really is. Mark’s books, The Circle Maker, and The 40 Day Prayer Challenge, are life changing. I will continue to read them and use the principles he teaches through them, to expand and grow a rich prayer life.

I could go on forever writing about how these people impact my life. But, this is a blog, not a book. I encourage you to click on the links I provided for each of these folks. Follow them on Social Media. Subscribe to their blogs and websites. Use their materials (each of these people offer a HUGE LOAD of FREE materials).

Most importantly, find your own mentors. Find people who “speak your language”. Search out people currently in the space you hope to be someday. Learn from them. Find out who they learn from. And, share with your followers the great information you learn.

Who are your current mentors? Share with us in the comments.

Excuses

12 Replies

“Excuses are doubts hiding in disguise.” – Bryan Hutchinson

Photo Credit: https://www.facebook.com/1Year1000Challenge

What excuses are you (am I) using to hide from your dream? Let’s make a list.

Not enough time.
I don’t have any ideas.
Not enough money.
My Day Job gets in the way of my Dream Job.
I have a family.
I’m too old.
I’m too young.
I don’t have any support from my family and/or friends.

Nice list. They all suck. You and I both know these excuses aren’t valid. You and I both know people who have used these excuses at one time or another, and at some point they overcame their excuse.

For me, excuses leave me on the couch. Usually they leave me on the couch watching TV. What a complete waste of time!! Please don’t get me wrong, TV can provide great entertainment. The problem I have with TV is the mindless hours spent simply watching whatever is on. As much as I love watching Jason Bourne in action, do I really need to see one of the Bourne movies for the 25^th time? Probably not.

Here’s how I typically justify TV watching in my own mind. I get home from work at 8:30 on a Monday night. I’ve worked an 11 hour day. I’ve earned myself 3 hours of TV time. Surely I’m too tired and worn out mentally to do anything productive.

Or, how about a Saturday afternoon? Instead of working on a home repair, or going for a bike ride, I justify an afternoon of watching sports by telling myself I need a break. A break? A break from what???

Excuses, excuses, excuses. They run rampant in our lives (at least mine anyway).

So, as I bemoan the lack of available time to write a blog post, write a book, read a book, exercise to lose 40 pounds, spend time reading the Bible and praying, working on my side-hustle to create my Dream Job, etc, I need to remind myself of the quote at the start of this post. I need to think about why I doubt myself and my ability.

I also need to figure out who would be willing to hold me accountable for my actions (or lack of action).

The easy solution for accountability would be to make sure my wife and I are on the same page. I should be sharing my dreams and plans with her. She’s a part of the plan. She should be aware of my progress.

She may get sick of hounding me though. As much as she wants me to succeed, I’m sure she doesn’t want to create more tension in our house.

My suggestion? Find a group of like-minded people who are willing to call you out when you don’t hit the mark on progress toward your goal. They won’t put up with your excuses.

(In a future post I’ll spend some time on how to find these people.)

Do you have a set batch of excuses you use when you don’t accomplish things you want to? What are they? Please share in the comments.